Peeks at the Past and the Future at My Wife's High School Reunion

My wife's fortieth high school reunion last weekend turned out to be fun and a most interesting life lesson.

A lesson in what retirement may be like, and in some cases, should be like.

First let me be honest and tell you I really didn't want to go. I figured since it wasn't my high school class, I would be bored. But knowing it was important to Gayle that I go, I decided to make the best of it. After all, I really only had to do two things: (1) dress nicely and (2) not say anything stupid or that would embarrass Gayle.

The reunion was in Salisbury, North Carolina. My wife was in the 1969 graduating class of Boyden High School, the last class before the school was renamed Salisbury High School.

I was already quite familiar with Salisbury. When Gayle and I first married, we worked in Salisbury and lived in neighboring Spencer. I was news director at WSTP/WRDX-FM Radio from 1979-81, and I sold commercial time for the stations for a brief stint in 1987-88.

I knew at some point during the reunion trip, I would get to eat some terrific Lexington-style barbecue, which I did (I recommend highly Richard's BBQ on North Main Street/Hwy. 29).

What ultimately made the trip interesting (and educational) for me was conversations with the classmates about what they're doing with their lives.

Keep in mind these people are age 58 or thereabouts.

One of her classmates told me his company offered an early retirement incentive of one year's salary, and he took it. He now lives on a boat at the North Carolina coast and volunteers his time doing maintenance along a 130-mile section of the Appalachian Trail.

He seemed remarkably happy and very fit.

Another of Gayle's classmates, who is still working, said her husband and she have moved into a 55-and-older community in South Carolina. She told me she's never been invited to so many parties; apparently there are plenty of social opportunities in this community. But then again, the people living there don't have the responsibility anymore of raising children, mowing lawns, etc., and many of them are retired. I imagine the loud music (or loud anything) complaints are few.

The comment that struck me the most: when one of the classmates told me the big-name company she works for, and I asked what her job was like, she replied, "It sucks. I can't wait to retire."

These peeks into retirement have affected me greatly, though I'm still a number of years away (hopefully) from calling it a career.

Here is what I have gleaned from the conversations:

Handle your dollars wisely. If you're aren't saving for retirement, then brothers and sisters, get busy with a plan right away. You never know when your employer might decide the future doesn't include you, and your exit from the company will be sooner and with much less money than you had planned.

Live where you will be happy. If the sounds of kids, dogs and motorcycles annoy you, a retirement community may suit you better than a neighborhood where change can be constant (I recommend you read the daily "Dennis the Menace" comic strip and see what the relationship between Dennis and his neighbor, retiree George Wilson, is like).

Keep yourself in good health. See your doctor, eat right, exercise. Don't let a small health problem become a big one due to neglect.

Identify and pursue your passions. Volunteer work, reading, gardening, music, travel, sports, social events, politics: what motivates you to get out of the bed each morning? What will make the next phase of life an adventure that will hopefully last decades?

Share the memories. It can be hard to remember exactly the events of your earlier life. We are each other's historians. We help each other recall details of the big ball games, the road trips, the first dates, the cookouts, the vacations.

Don't sweat the small stuff. People change. The classmate you couldn't stand 40 years ago might be best friend material now. We all had rough edges to work out and still do. Time and experience... not to mention blood, sweat and tears... make us different people.

And finally, within reason, don't give a rip what other people think. At this latter stage of life, we are beyond the point where peer pressure should influence us. As long as what you want to do is okay with God and the courts, go live your life. Just be happy, generous and grateful.

When the 50-year reunion rolls around, Gayle and I can hopefully attend.

Even if we have to ride in "Jazzies."