Addiction...not just costly to your wallet..

Some of you may be wondering why I am writing about this particular subject. When I began writing, I decided I would write about all that got me where I am today....no matter how strange, embarrassing or degrading. This is because I've finally reached a point where I am happy with myself....though it was a long and winding road I've made it to where I need to be inside my little bean. Some of you may be thinking you've always been happy with yourself and your decisions, that's great, but many are not...perhaps only the addicted can relate to where I am coming from.

I'm talking to you

Plagued today by everything you've already done is probably the most difficult thing to deal with in this whole process. You can't go back, obviously, so how do you make things right? I can only tell you this....you cannot control what others think or feel, you can only be who you are. So be who you want and NEED to be, you can't love others if you don't love yourself...it doesn't work. Think of all the people you have hurt over the years, because you have let this inanimate thing control your entire life and guess what....I'm not just talking about drugs folks. People seem to associate serious addiction problems to drugs, this is true but there certainly are others....smoking, drinking, gambling, I could go on forever. You know who you are.

There are programs out there, run by doctors and professionals...some cost a lot, some are free, the bottom line is get help if you need it. Only you know how serious things are and more than likely you really don't need someone, or a group of people to tell you to go get help. You already know.

A Cure ?

There is no pill. No shot or perscription. The cure, or the "secret" if you prefer is you. Only you can stop the bleeding and you have to want to stop. You can appease your loved ones by going to the programs, making promises and appear to want to change, but unless you really want to stop...quit wasting everyone's time. Human beings are amazing, able to accomplish anything they put their minds to, so do it. Don't be embarrassed....I realize what you are doing and have done is embarrassing but in order to move on, you have to put this on the back burner. The feeling will never go away...it's nobody's fault but yours. Step up and take some responsibility, be proud of what you want to be and will be.

Once you decide to stop letting this ridiculous thing kick your butt, think of the people who are pushing hard for your recovery. Every time you get the "itch"...think of them. Think of what you've already put them through, stop the hurting and start the healing....you need to start sometime and guess what, the sooner the better.

If your conscience doesn't seem to bother you much, using the "thinking" approach may not work for you, so try this. Every morning you wake up and throughout the day, have pictures or phrases strategically placed so you can see them. Pictures of your family and loved ones and phrases that spark motivation to stay on the right track to achieve you goals.....goals are very important in this whole process. It may sound silly or even childish but you know what, in some ways you are acting like a child.

The Cost

Depending on which bad habit you decided to let run your life, the monetary part of this whole mess may vary.....or will it?

Can you honestly put a dollar value on a friendship, marriage or family? No, you can't. It will ruin you and strain every relationship you've built. Mom and Dad.... who taught you right from wrong, changed your dirty diaper and put up with you through your adolescent years, are now trying to figure out how they've failed....they didn't....you did. They need to hear this from you, because more than likely, they are hurting worse than you are.

So here's a final thought.....I decided this might be a perfect day to publish this for a reason. Of course it's 9/11, one of our worst, yet greatest days ever as a nation. To all the people and especially the addicts out there think of this today....all of the people, or heroes, who unselfishly risked and gave their lives to help complete strangers.... yet you are selfish enough to put your loved ones through an indescribable roller coaster ride for your own petty satisfaction....

Get your life back....make it happen.

Keep your chin up and stick your chest out....be proud of who you are and who you will become....